Archive | September, 2012

For Rob…♥

29 Sep

Rob, how does it feel to be you?
When’s your “me time”? Bet you need it too…
Hope you’re getting some now,
Well deserved, take a bow!
‘Cos you’ve earned it, enjoy it, love you…♥

To Rob, Dublin and the Friendlies… thank you all so much ♥

22 Sep

I’m not quite sure where to begin…
There’s so much that I just can’t keep in!
I’ll begin at the start,
Get it down, from the heart,
And I’ll pour me a big glass of gin…
Right, so news came… Rob’s playing some shows.
But where will they be, no one knows.
Will he come to Belfast?
My home venue, at last?
No but Dublin’s in there, stay composed…
Will I get a ticket, oh God aye…
Shit! A ballot for tickets? I could cry!
So the likelihood is
I’ll get nowhere, feck this!
Me? A loser? Hell no, I will try…
So I entered my name for the draw
And I prayed that I’d draw the long straw…
But alas, it was no
From the ballot, no go.
So I tried to forget it, sod’s law!
But I certainly wasn’t alone.
Loads of friends didn’t get, ’twas well known
That demand would be mighty,
From Australia to Blighty
Half a million Rob fans in the zone…
But then came a rare second chance,
And I tried it again, in a trance,
And yes!!! I’ve got two
Standing tickets, woo hoo!!
Can’t believe it. My God, time to dance!!
So who will I make my plus one?
My sister? My brother? My son?
My husband? My Mummy?
They can’t go, I’ll ask Scrummy!!
I reckon we could have some fun!
So our plans were all hastily made.
Flight was booked, and the hotel was paid.
Got our banner designed
Hoping we’d get it signed!
Oh and Minstrels, the largest bag made!!!
So from Belfast to Dublin we went,
And a fortune we’d already spent!
But sure we didn’t care,
We were high on just air
And the thought of Rob, who’s heaven sent…
So we dumped off the car, got a cab
Into Dublin, now where is our Bab?
Brown Thomas it is,
I was in such a tiz
We’d see Rob? Yeah, we’d give it a stab…
After waiting a while who’d we see?
Only Moonii and Scosha, yippee!!
A real friendly meet,
Can’t believe this, how sweet!!
We were buzzing or was that just me?
Before long a huge cheer could be heard.
From then on my poor memory’s blurred…
But Robbie was there
Right before me, I swear,
Looking hot, oh so hot, ’twas absurd!
So I held up my banner, “Rob look”
And he read it, check the photo I took!
And Scrummy called out
“Minstrels!!  Shook them about.
So he’d seen us, but was it a fluke?
We made our way to the O2
With the hope of just joining the queue.
Though I have to report
That the queue was quite short.
Happy days, now let’s find me a loo!
Loads more friendlies were there in the queue…
Julie B, Eims, Miss Sexy and Sue,
And Inette from Denmark,
Who was heard to remark
She was shorter than…well, you know who…
There was Mellers from Navan as well…
Looking mightily sexy as hell!
And our Sally from Oz
Wins the trophy because
She flew from down under, flippin’ hell!!
So at last the O2 opened wide…
And we all made our way on inside
“No running!” Aye right!
What a great load of sh*te!
And we RAN to the front, side by side.
We waited for what seemed like an age
Gazing up at what would be Rob’s stage.
And at last, this is it…
Oh my God, holy sh*t!
For the night I forgot my real age…
Rob, you rocked it like never before…
Gave us more than we could have hoped for!
And when you spoke to me
All my friends will agree
That it made my whole day, and much more…
Me and Scrummy had Minstrels for you
From Brown Thomas, you remembered, you knew!
You came for them too
Almost caught them, big phew!!
You said “breakfast of champions”, so true!
And then you said Carnspindle… *swoon*
And you dedicated my favourite tune
To Scrummy and me,
Yes! Eternity!
And we sang as we grinned like two loons!!!
And then you came back towards me,
And you asked about my poetry,
Said it’s “very fucking good”
Put me right in the mood…
I was honoured, if somewhat dizzy!
Seemed before it had started, ’twas done.
And I doubt that gig will be outdone…
You were on such top form,
God, you went down a storm!
I for one feel you’ve done it, you’ve won!!
So to Trickaduu Merk I’d just say
Hope to meet you one day to convey
My own thank you to you
And I owe you a brew!
Now get on with a new Joke of the Day!!! 😉
And to finish this monstrous rhyme
Congrats to the Williams, big time!!!
Welcome darling wee Teddy
Who’ll keep Daddy steady
Rob enjoy her, while you’re in your prime…
So to all of you, can I say thanks…
What a day we all had, how we danced!!!
I will always remember
14th September
So so lucky to have had the chance!

Robbie Williams talks to Carnspindle

22 Sep

Apparently my poetry is “very fucking good”…

The Marvellous Rob… (one to keep you going)

22 Sep

For you Rob, a present from me…
Hope you like it, I think you’ll agree
That it’s rather unique
And shows off your physique…
Do you like it? It’s yours and it’s free.
It was Silke, my friend from the blog
Who said “yeah, it could go in his bog”
So will you hang it there?
All your guests will sure stare
At this marvellous image of Rob!
I believe you know Silke, you do?
I’ll remind you what she said to you…
When that wee parasite
Made you feel pretty shite
Silke advised you to check out your poo!
I hope that you like it, I do!
It bears a resemblance to you…
Though you are more handsome
I’d pay a King’s ransom
To see it hung up in your loo!
So if it goes up on your wall
Will you post me a photo at all?
So I know where it sits
As you’re doing your shits…
‘Twould be better than sweet bugger all!
You’re feeling more generous Rob?
Mighty stuff, fill your boots, I’m no snob…
Hey what did you say?
You’ll fly me to LA?
I accept, see you very soon Rob.

Hang in there…

22 Sep

I’ve been trying to get it all out…
My tale of last week, without doubt
A night in a million
By the ‘mega civilian’!
It’s coming, just hammering it out!

Thank you Rob xx

15 Sep

Hello Sir by Robbie Williams

Hello Sir, remember me?
I’m the man you thought I’d never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
The lad called ‘thingy’ for six whole years
Yeah that’s right, my name’s Bob
The one who landed the popstar’s job
The one who you told ‘look don’t touch’
The kid who wouldn’t amount to much
Well I’m here and you’re still there
With your fake sportscar and receding hair
Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman that teaches art
Married to the life, married to the school
I want to sing and dance sir, now who’s the fool?
Sing and dance? You thought I was barmy
‘Settle down thingy, join the army!’
And who are you to tell me this?
The dream I want I’ll have to miss
Sir is God, he’s been given the right
To structure lives overnight
Now I know life’s true path
Tanks and guns, that’ll be a laugh
No, not me. I’m a mega civilian.
I won’t lead my life riding pillion
But thanks for the advice and I’m sure it’ll do
For the negative dickheads just like you
As for now, I’ve a different weapon
Stage and screen is about to beckon
And here I sit in first class
Bollocks sir, kiss my ass…

A plea to Farrell…

13 Sep

Husband’s wardrobe’s been looking quite drab…
Needs some Farrell to make it look fab!
So I’m asking you, please
With your style expertise
Could you sort something out for me bab?

The Fiasco that was Ticketmaster this week…

8 Sep
“Ticketmaster regrets to inform you that due to a database error, some customers were advised that they were successful in the ticket ballot for the Robbie Williams performances at Dublin or Glasgow. However, these emails were incorrect as they actually applied for tickets for the other venue they received confirmation for.”


What a week we’ve had, it has been tough.
And this weekend I’m feeling quite rough…
We’ve been up, we’ve been down,
We’ve been thrown all around
All the Friendlies have taken enough.
We blame Ticketmaster, oh what a mess…
We’re told no, later on we’re told yes!
Then it’s no once again
Oh wait, yes, oh, and then
It’s a no, bloody hell, all this stress!!
How on earth could they get it so wrong?
They’ve been stringing the Friendlies along.
With the promise of luck
When they don’t give a f**k!!
It’s been awful, thank God that we’re strong…

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